“Sometimes, instead of trying to make life’s challenges easier, it’s more beneficial to fully acknowledge the weight of our burdens until we’re compelled to put them down. How we often carry impossibly heavy expectations, work ethics, or people-pleasing behaviours, thinking these will lead to success or belonging, when instead they multiply our difficulties.” – Oliver Burkeman from Meditations for Mortals.
Hear me out, there’s a line here that tracks to the October topic of inner demons. There are moments of overwhelm and moments of more overwhelm – too much to do and not enough time. What exactly are we demanding of ourselves? What is the amount of effort required that will make us feel that we can overcome our enoughness? What if we just ‘put it down’ because we recognize that rest never comes once the ‘job is finished’. But, by putting the thing down, then seems to make room for the emotional backlash of breaking a long-standing survival strategy: Guilt – don’t act like you’ve never felt, hated, or suppressed it down then dropped a ton of weight on it to keep it there for years. I’m not trying to be heavy here, no pun intended, but can you see the connection? “I see you, GUILT”. Come. Let’s have tea. Tell me, has my value diminished or is it just the illusion of productive suffering?
What is not suffering is this pear cake. It is originally eggless. You can use eggs and milk, it is delicious no less. Certainly, you can make it vegan because, well, you do you. The point is, all choices are available to you. Take the one that feels right:
